British Tennis Forum - Celebrating 20 Years!

Sheddie · Sheddie

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Q: Are you sexually active? A: No, I just lie...

Salmon · Salmon

Enjoy your year, Count.

What a present Alex gave you today.

I have now taken an oath to remember all birthdays.

Sheddie · Sheddie

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health: 1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart...

Count Zero · Count Zero

just think it might be a nice idea if poeople who post under different names here to AM.com post here so we can have a list. some of use use the same some dont: Count Zero - Jac

Sheddie · Sheddie

Our lager, Which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk), At home as in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, And forgive us our spillages, As we forgive those who spill against us. And lead us not to incarceration, But deliver us from hangovers. For thine is the be...

Sheddie · Sheddie

The buzz word in today's business world is MARKETING. However, people often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is: 1. You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing. 2. You're a...

Sheddie · Sheddie

The SAS, the Parachute Regiment and the Police decide to go on a survival weekend together to see who comes out on top. After some basic exercises the trainer tells them that their next objective is to go down into the woods and catch a rabbit, returning with it ready to skin and cook. Night falls... Firs...

steven · steven

(well, I think that's better than all the real headlines about it!) "Agassi commits 'lip fault' in fundraiser LA MARQUE, Texas, April 16 (UPI) -- Andre Agassi proved during a fundraising event in Texas that even the pros have amateur moments when his racket accidentally clipped his wife's lip...

Count Zero · Count Zero

1. go to www.google.com 2. click on "maps" 3. click on "get directions" 4. type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box) 5. type "London" in the second box (the "to" box) (hit get directions) 6. scroll down to step #23

Sheddie · Sheddie

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male.... Playing cricket without a box. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male... Leaving a note before taking off on...

Sheddie · Sheddie

The Florida übercrapper indicates that America has thrown in the towel on its burgeoning obesity problem and recognises that the day will soon arrive when it will need to accommodate wobbly pairs of 33-metre buttocks

[img]https://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g82/UltimateSlabba...

Sheddie · Sheddie

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6557635.stm

Sheddie · Sheddie

A sweet grandmother telephoned Wigan Infirmary. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said "I'll be glad to help, Dear. What's the name and room number?" The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, &qu...

Sheddie · Sheddie

Are the new emoticons popular ? Do people like the new animated ones ? -- Edited by Sheddie at 17:13, 2007-04-12

Sheddie · Sheddie

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the pa...

Count Zero · Count Zero

i am not sure who on this board is a current or ex student but thought this might be of interest to some: Please send on to all students/ex-students! you know........ For any of you that have still have student loans outstanding....please pass on For most unsuspecting graduates who are paying back the...

Sheddie · Sheddie

Should we utilise the forum calendar at all ? (it's on the control bar, next to recent posts) Atm, it just lists when members joined and member birthdays..however,we can put lots of other info on there

Sheddie · Sheddie

Why do we always forget Bethan's birthday ? Anyway, I hope you had a great day Bethan I know these wishes are a month late but hey, good things come to those who wait

What's on your profile whiteboard · Sheddie

The latest new addition to the site is special whiteboards for your profile pages, what do you think ? I'm not sure what to put on mine atm, any ideas ? My ideal shed maybe ?

mjd · mjd

I cannot surpress my disappointment any longer! - Every time I visit this site or British Tennis I am presented with the glaring error in the construction of the British flag in the header. I could understand it if it was a foreign web site but for a British site to get it so wrong is pretty bad, especially...

Drew · Drew

Before I send out the debt collectors for the t-shirt money (Rob C knows a few thugs from Sheffield !) you get 1 more chance before we start with body part removal....the part to be decided by a poll if you dont pay in 24hrs...so be warned...the next warning wil be a knock at the door ! (PS you as well toby....

Count Zero · Count Zero

I have just been thinking, its been about a week since Shedie has been missing and this board has been full of interesting, thoughtful discussion, and perhaps it is in fact better off without him. i've made a poll so people can vote.

scoobsuk · scoobsuk

...and anyone else involved in this weekend's superb coverage from the Davis Cup tie in Birmingham. You've been a wonderful resource this weekend.

Drew · Drew

Just noticed the 'youTube' insert icon....let see if it works ! This is the only video I have ever put on Youtube...

Rochelle · Rochelle

ok , as some of you no , im going to DC on friday , me and my sister are going to but slogans on our t-shirts , but i dont no what to do !! any caption suggestions? Thanks

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Disorder in the American courts (Preview) These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Q: Are you sexually active? A: No, I just lie...	Sheddie	1	793	Apr 26, 2007 by VSandhi20
	Happy Birthday To James! ( 1 2 3 ) (Preview) Enjoy your year, Count. What a present Alex gave you today. I have now taken an oath to remember all birthdays.	Salmon	32	3004	Apr 26, 2007 by Count Zero
	The final word on nutrition (Preview) After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health: 1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart...	Sheddie	7	1010	Apr 20, 2007 by Madeline
	Alias ( 1 2 ) (Preview) just think it might be a nice idea if poeople who post under different names here to AM.com post here so we can have a list. some of use use the same some dont: Count Zero - Jac	Count Zero	19	17972	Apr 20, 2007 by Salmon
	The 18th birthday prayer (Preview) Our lager, Which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk), At home as in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, And forgive us our spillages, As we forgive those who spill against us. And lead us not to incarceration, But deliver us from hangovers. For thine is the be...	Sheddie	3	2450	Apr 20, 2007 by Count Zero
	Marketing (Preview) The buzz word in today's business world is MARKETING. However, people often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is: 1. You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing. 2. You're a...	Sheddie	0	797	Apr 20, 2007 by Sheddie
	Survival exercise (Preview) The SAS, the Parachute Regiment and the Police decide to go on a survival weekend together to see who comes out on top. After some basic exercises the trainer tells them that their next objective is to go down into the woods and catch a rabbit, returning with it ready to skin and cook. Night falls... Firs...	Sheddie	0	741	Apr 19, 2007 by Sheddie
	Shagging with Andre leaves Steffi in stitches (Preview) (well, I think that's better than all the real headlines about it!) "Agassi commits 'lip fault' in fundraiser LA MARQUE, Texas, April 16 (UPI) -- Andre Agassi proved during a fundraising event in Texas that even the pros have amateur moments when his racket accidentally clipped his wife's lip...	steven	0	1048	Apr 17, 2007 by steven
	Google Directions (Preview) 1. go to www.google.com 2. click on "maps" 3. click on "get directions" 4. type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box) 5. type "London" in the second box (the "to" box) (hit get directions) 6. scroll down to step #23	Count Zero	9	1034	Apr 17, 2007 by Rochelle
	Dictionary meanings (Preview) VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male.... Playing cricket without a box. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male... Leaving a note before taking off on...	Sheddie	1	814	Apr 16, 2007 by johnnylad
	World's biggest toilet (Preview) The Florida übercrapper indicates that America has thrown in the towel on its burgeoning obesity problem and recognises that the day will soon arrive when it will need to accommodate wobbly pairs of 33-metre buttocks [img]https://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g82/UltimateSlabba...	Sheddie	0	811	Apr 16, 2007 by Sheddie
	Spacehoppers set bounce record (Preview) http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6557635.stm	Sheddie	0	764	Apr 16, 2007 by Sheddie
	Hospital patient (Preview) A sweet grandmother telephoned Wigan Infirmary. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said "I'll be glad to help, Dear. What's the name and room number?" The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, &qu...	Sheddie	3	1056	Apr 14, 2007 by Sheddie
	Emoticons ( 1 2 3 ) (Preview) Are the new emoticons popular ? Do people like the new animated ones ? -- Edited by Sheddie at 17:13, 2007-04-12	Sheddie	34	2929	Apr 14, 2007 by john
	Rules of chocolate (Preview) If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the pa...	Sheddie	4	924	Apr 14, 2007 by Madeline
	Student Loan payments (serious) (Preview) i am not sure who on this board is a current or ex student but thought this might be of interest to some: Please send on to all students/ex-students! you know........ For any of you that have still have student loans outstanding....please pass on For most unsuspecting graduates who are paying back the...	Count Zero	7	1017	Apr 14, 2007 by imoen
	Forum calendar (Preview) Should we utilise the forum calendar at all ? (it's on the control bar, next to recent posts) Atm, it just lists when members joined and member birthdays..however,we can put lots of other info on there	Sheddie	3	759	Apr 13, 2007 by RobC
	Happy birthday Bethan (Preview) Why do we always forget Bethan's birthday ? Anyway, I hope you had a great day Bethan I know these wishes are a month late but hey, good things come to those who wait	Sheddie	7	1153	Apr 12, 2007 by imoen
	What's on your profile whiteboard (Preview) The latest new addition to the site is special whiteboards for your profile pages, what do you think ? I'm not sure what to put on mine atm, any ideas ? My ideal shed maybe ?	Sheddie	2	746	Apr 12, 2007 by Salmon
	British Flag (Preview) I cannot surpress my disappointment any longer! - Every time I visit this site or British Tennis I am presented with the glaring error in the construction of the British flag in the header. I could understand it if it was a foreign web site but for a British site to get it so wrong is pretty bad, especially...	mjd	7	1452	Apr 12, 2007 by mike55
	Oi Sheddie Pay Up ! (Preview) Before I send out the debt collectors for the t-shirt money (Rob C knows a few thugs from Sheffield !) you get 1 more chance before we start with body part removal....the part to be decided by a poll if you dont pay in 24hrs...so be warned...the next warning wil be a knock at the door ! (PS you as well toby....	Drew	6	917	Apr 11, 2007 by Count Zero
	A More Civilised Place? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I have just been thinking, its been about a week since Shedie has been missing and this board has been full of interesting, thoughtful discussion, and perhaps it is in fact better off without him. i've made a poll so people can vote.	Count Zero	21	2117	Apr 11, 2007 by Salmon
	Big thanks to Drew... (Preview) ...and anyone else involved in this weekend's superb coverage from the Davis Cup tie in Birmingham. You've been a wonderful resource this weekend.	scoobsuk	9	904	Apr 11, 2007 by Sheddie
	You Tube on the messageboard ! (Preview) Just noticed the 'youTube' insert icon....let see if it works ! This is the only video I have ever put on Youtube...	Drew	14	956	Apr 5, 2007 by imoen
	DC Slogan (Preview) ok , as some of you no , im going to DC on friday , me and my sister are going to but slogans on our t-shirts , but i dont no what to do !! any caption suggestions? Thanks	Rochelle	14	938	Apr 4, 2007 by steven
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