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Shhh


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Bad 'Dad Joke' type jokes - content warning: Puns
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A set of jump leads walked into a bar. The barman said "I'll serve you but don't start anything"


A sandwich walked into a bar. The barman said "Sorry, we don't serve food in here"


A dyslexic walked into a bra.



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 Its really not as bad as they say :)
JonH comes home


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Dyslexia rules, KO.

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Status Quo


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I'm a bit worried that I contracted malaria at a c0cktail party recently. I came home covered in mojito bites.



-- Edited by Status Quo on Sunday 22nd of March 2020 07:09:32 AM

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Status Quo


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During self-isolation, I've been trying to learn some new skills, but after learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging
(Richard Pulsford)

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Status Quo


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Last night, I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!
(Stewart Francis )

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Coup Droit


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Keep going, SQ

You're doing a grand job.

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Status Quo


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As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog.
(Gary Delaney)

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Coup Droit


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Status Quo wrote:

As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog.
(Gary Delaney)

 I'm still with you, SQ biggrin



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the addict


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I found a load of these on a thread I saved from a forum more than ten years ago. Some are really cringeworthy. I'll pick a few out at random......

What do you call a deer with no eye ?
No idea
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs ?
Still no idea.

How does a chimp make toast ? On a grilla

The cannibal came home late - all he got was a cold shoulder

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Status Quo


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I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.
(Alex Horne)

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Status Quo


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I spotted a Marmite van on the motorway, heading yeastbound
(Roger Swift)

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Status Quo


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I wish I'd never booked myself on to this escapology course. Now, I'm really struggling to get out of it.
(Adele Cliff)

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Status Quo


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A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows.
I said, 'Yes, of course. - That's 20 cows'"
(Jake Lambert)

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Bob in Spain


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Status Quo wrote:

A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows.
I said, 'Yes, of course. - That's 20 cows'"
(Jake Lambert)

Best so far.  Brilliant.



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Status Quo


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To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian
(Mark Simmons)

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