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Post Info TOPIC: Bad 'Dad Joke' type jokes - content warning: Puns


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Bad 'Dad Joke' type jokes - content warning: Puns


Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy
(Richard Stott)

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These days I'm taking it one day at a time. So is everybody. That's how time works.
(Hannibal Buress)

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Status Quo wrote:

These days I'm taking it one day at a time. So is everybody. That's how time works.
(Hannibal Buress)


 One of my favourites smile



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I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it.
I know it's hard to believe, but I saw it with my own two eyes

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If you get an email offering you some cheap tinned meat don't open it





Its probably spam

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 Its really not as bad as they say :)



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I heard a rumour that Cadbury is launching an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa
(Rob Auton)

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Hedgehogs - why can't they just share the hedge?
(Dan Antopolski)

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Did you hear about the corduroy pillows? They're making headlines.
(Erik Lancaster)

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I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: I mean, It's not rocket salad.
(Lou Sanders)

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Two hunters are out one day when one collapses. His comrade calls 999 and says, "Help! My friend is dead!"
The 999 operator replies, "Calm down sir, I can help. First let's make sure your friend is actually dead."
There is a pause, and then a loud bang.
The hunter then asks, "OK, now what?"
(original outline for this much repeated joke, and it's many slight variations comes from a Goon Show script, by Spike Milligan)

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Tennis legend

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Status Quo wrote:

Two hunters are out one day when one collapses. His comrade calls 999 and says, "Help! My friend is dead!"
The 999 operator replies, "Calm down sir, I can help. First let's make sure your friend is actually dead."
There is a pause, and then a loud bang.
The hunter then asks, "OK, now what?"
(original outline for this much repeated joke, and it's many slight variations comes from a Goon Show script, by Spike Milligan)


Reminded me of this one.

Two friends out camping in the woods when they are confronted by a huge grizzly bear.

Friend one reaches down to put on his shoes and tie up his laces.

Friend two says, "What are you doing ?  You can't outrun a bear."

Friend one replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you."

Bonus point for anyone who can tell me which film that joke is taken from. smile

 

 



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Tennis legend

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Status Quo wrote:

Two hunters are out one day when one collapses. His comrade calls 999 and says, "Help! My friend is dead!"
The 999 operator replies, "Calm down sir, I can help. First let's make sure your friend is actually dead."
There is a pause, and then a loud bang.
The hunter then asks, "OK, now what?"
(original outline for this much repeated joke, and it's many slight variations comes from a Goon Show script, by Spike Milligan)


 Fab!



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Bob in Spain wrote:
Status Quo wrote:

Two hunters are out one day when one collapses. His comrade calls 999 and says, "Help! My friend is dead!"
The 999 operator replies, "Calm down sir, I can help. First let's make sure your friend is actually dead."
There is a pause, and then a loud bang.
The hunter then asks, "OK, now what?"
(original outline for this much repeated joke, and it's many slight variations comes from a Goon Show script, by Spike Milligan)


Reminded me of this one.

Two friends out camping in the woods when they are confronted by a huge grizzly bear.

Friend one reaches down to put on his shoes and tie up his laces.

Friend two says, "What are you doing ?  You can't outrun a bear."

Friend one replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you."

Bonus point for anyone who can tell me which film that joke is taken from. smile

 

 


 I don't know Bob but I am intrigued?  I often quote that very joke to my children (they insist its not in the least bit funny) as a reminder when they are struggling at a task 



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 Its really not as bad as they say :)



Intermediate Club Player

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Bob in Spain wrote:
Status Quo wrote:

Two hunters are out one day when one collapses. His comrade calls 999 and says, "Help! My friend is dead!"
The 999 operator replies, "Calm down sir, I can help. First let's make sure your friend is actually dead."
There is a pause, and then a loud bang.
The hunter then asks, "OK, now what?"
(original outline for this much repeated joke, and it's many slight variations comes from a Goon Show script, by Spike Milligan)


Reminded me of this one.

Two friends out camping in the woods when they are confronted by a huge grizzly bear.

Friend one reaches down to put on his shoes and tie up his laces.

Friend two says, "What are you doing ?  You can't outrun a bear."

Friend one replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you."

Bonus point for anyone who can tell me which film that joke is taken from. smile 




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Tennis legend

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Shhh wrote:
Bob in Spain wrote:
Status Quo wrote:

Two hunters are out one day when one collapses. His comrade calls 999 and says, "Help! My friend is dead!"
The 999 operator replies, "Calm down sir, I can help. First let's make sure your friend is actually dead."
There is a pause, and then a loud bang.
The hunter then asks, "OK, now what?"
(original outline for this much repeated joke, and it's many slight variations comes from a Goon Show script, by Spike Milligan)


Reminded me of this one.

Two friends out camping in the woods when they are confronted by a huge grizzly bear.

Friend one reaches down to put on his shoes and tie up his laces.

Friend two says, "What are you doing ?  You can't outrun a bear."

Friend one replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you."

Bonus point for anyone who can tell me which film that joke is taken from. smile

 

 


 I don't know Bob but I am intrigued?  I often quote that very joke to my children (they insist its not in the least bit funny) as a reminder when they are struggling at a task 


Well apparently there is more than one.  Status Quo has given one that I didn't know about.

I got it from a film called "The Imitation Game".  If you like historical factual drama, this one is about Alan Turing (Benedict Cumberbatch) and his efforts to break the Enigma coding machine in WW2.  He quotes it as an effort to win over his work colleagues who haven't really taken to him.



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