Seagulls upmarket??? (no reflection on our poster seagull )

Surely it will be grouse-eye. Then all the players can grouse about it.

-- Edited by Madeline at 12:56, 2007-11-05

i think seagulls are more upmarket than pigeons though?

The Delusions of Stoliarov

That Russian I mentioned yesterday, Andrei Stoliarov, won his first round match; he beat the tough South African, Ben Van Rensburg, 6-4 5-7 6-4. I snuck into the press-room whilst his post-match interview was in full flow. It was certainly odd.
"Why you not take me seriously!" pleaded Stoliarov, "I once beat Ivan Ljubicic!"
"Who??" cried a room of amused journalists.
"You... you people know nothing! I have played in all Grand Slams!"
"Haha!" Tap Hacs* chuckled, "Grand Slams like Royal Flush. Like the cards, you see! Haha. Very clever! You're so funny!"
"I am not funny! I am...I am good player. Here are the bad ones. You are ignorant people. I have played in Davis Cup!"
"Yeah. Against Gert Briton probably! Haha!" The whole room was in hysterics, apart from an increasingly agitated Stoliarov.
"It is pronounced Great Britain you silly man, and they are better than Burkino Faso ever will be."
Now this got Hacs angry. He soon hit steamy-ears-point. "You come here with your stupid stories. You insult whole nations! You insult the greatest players on our planet! You are nothing but a delusional dreamer!"
Stoliarov was now visibly rattled, "I am no dreamer. I am good player. I beat Ivanisevic too!"
"Ha! Memory of a goldfish too! We know you beat Ivan Thingi-votsic, you already told us!" The room exploded into uncontrollable laughter.
Stoliarov slammed his hands on the table and stormed out the room.

* 1987 Senegal F1 champion turned commentator/eulogiser. Enormously proud of both his Burkino Faso homeland and his darn cool earring.

Talal "Doom Doom" Ouahabi*

Talal first burst into public consciousness in 1995, he astounded to world by winning Botswana F1, aged just 17. He was the first Moroccan, the first non-seed, and the youngest ever champion to do so. He won again in 1996.

His volleying, diving and funny hair thrilled a generation, but it took him until last year to win the title for a third time. Now 29, and entering his twilight years he's desperate to show the young-uns his prowess. Talking of which I know a funny story about Talal - it was Valentine's Day 1998 - there was a restaurant, a waitress and a broom-cupboard, er... actually I probably shouldn't tell that story.

Talal now has three lovely triplet sons - Ham, Shem & Japheth. It's their ninth birthday next week.

* Talal's unusual nickname comes from his relentless pessimism.  He's predicted his own first-round exit from Botswana F1, today, and the end of the world, next Saturday.  Let's hope there's nice weather for it.

The Doggedness of Stoliarov

Top seed, Ed Seator cruised to victory against Milos Sekulic, 6-2 6-3. "S-E-A-T-O-R. Ed's as quick as a racing car." Ed now faces Richie Ruckelshausen in the quarters.
It was a bad day for the Namibia F1 & South Africa F1 champions, Claudio Grassi losing out to Alex Somogyi, and Dani Arsenov's spirit seemed to desert him as he lost 1-6 6-3 6-1.
Better news for Arsenov in the doubles as he and Andrei Stoliarov coasted into the quarter-finals with a 6-4 6-1 victory.

Straight after this win, Andrei Stoliarov charged back in the Press Room, but foolishly tried the same tactic as last time. "You taking me seriously yet, Hacs?" he asked rather aggressively, "Was I not good today? Listen, I almost beat Hewitt in French Open once."
"Oh Hewitt, I remember him! He's that South African from the '60s. You didn't manage to beat him!? Haha! He must be ancient by now!" cajoled Tap Hacs.
"Listen you rude man," Stoliarov persisted, "I have beaten Roddick for god's sake!"
"Dame Anita - haha! Well done!"
"Rusedski"
"In your dreams have you beaten Predrag!"
"Canas, Chela, Gaudio,... Bjorkman, Ferrer, Rosset, Ferreira,... Pioline, Puerta, Karlovic, Robredo, Kiefer, Verkerk,..."
"I have absolutely no idea who you're going on about. Have you ever even come close to beating Loglo? Eh? Coco? Eh? Ghouse? Vejmelka? Adjei-Darko? Leonte? Barth? Silverback?"

Stoliarov threw his hands up. "I give up. I not talk again to you." And again stormed out the door.


[Stoliarov's second round match with Heinrich Heyl has had to be delayed until tomorrow - a hippo stopped play.  It wasn't my fault - honest!  Yannick was just in a playful mood, and his lead broke, and I chased after him, but tripped over Lofo Ramiaramanan, and the Doughnut Man's plan was rubbish, and how was I to know hippos love cinnamon rolls so much, and how on earth Richie Ruckelshausen thought he was helping by racing about waving those cheese-sticks around, I don't know, and at the time the centre court just seemed the most sensible place to trap a hippo.

Bogdan better get back soon. grrrr!]

Perhaps he got trampled by a hippo . . .

Yannick's a homing-hippo (I'm convinced).

On Thursday night, he escaped from the Centre Court of Botswana F1, and headed North - back towards King Loglo's luscious Senegali pond. Stupidly (again) I followed.

Across Botswana, through the Kalahari desert, up the Zambesi, crossing the lengths of Zambia (got a lovely photo of Victoria Falls - you'd love it), crossed into the Congo... and found myself dangling half way up a tree - in a big net.

I think this tribe reveres hippos as gods (or something), and don't look kindly on people chasing one half way up Africa. So they stuck me in a hole. Hey-ho.

At least I've got company down here! There's an interior designer, an ex-footballer, an annoying American, and a chef (who does wonders with mealy bugs and c0ckroaches.)


And the phone reception is remarkably good.




-- Edited by Akhenaten at 17:02, 2007-11-13