British Tennis Forum - Celebrating 20 Years!

JonH comes home · Tennis legend

A difficult subject

Coup Droit · Tennis legend

Very sorry to hear the dreadfully sad stories, Jon

Do so hope that you're OK - it's very tough on the people around

JonH comes home · Tennis legend

Coup Droit wrote:
Very sorry to hear the dreadfully sad stories, Jon

Do so hope that you're OK - it's very tough on the people around

Thanks CD - my son rang me and told me off for getting upset (it had only been 1 hour 45 mins since hed messaged and Id gone from A to Z in that time!). He was fine. I cried like a baby - havent cried since the kids were both born. That said, I couldnt do my wedding vows as I was crying too much.

Anyway- very embarrassed Dad!

Jan · Hall of fame

I am so very sorry to hear about these three desperately sad events. One would be awful, but three so close together is unimaginable. I am so glad your son is ok and you are naturally relieved.
Life is indeed so precious. The nearest I have come to such a situation involved the son of a very dear friend. It makes you want to hold everyone very close.
Thinking of you and your family.

JonH comes home · Tennis legend

Jan wrote:
I am so very sorry to hear about these three desperately sad events. One would be awful, but three so close together is unimaginable. I am so glad your son is ok and you are naturally relieved.
Life is indeed so precious. The nearest I have come to such a situation involved the son of a very dear friend. It makes you want to hold everyone very close.
Thinking of you and your family.

Thank you Jan. we are fine. As said, none of these terribly sad events were that close to us, it was the adding up of them and seeing the impact it had on those we know who were close to them and knew them well.
In each case, so seemingly out of the blue - you can just never know what is going on in someones life.

Christine · Strong Club Player

Oh Jon, so sorry to hear this, it's not always obvious what affects us most and people who are depressed can easily hide their feelings when with others and then get overwhelmed when alone. Keep your dear ones close and keep talking to them however hard it may be. Your feelings are a credit to you,

JonH comes home · Tennis legend

Christine wrote:
Oh Jon, so sorry to hear this, it's not always obvious what affects us most and people who are depressed can easily hide their feelings when with others and then get overwhelmed when alone. Keep your dear ones close and keep talking to them however hard it may be. Your feelings are a credit to you,

You are so right, Christine. Thank you.

emmsie69 · Top national player

We had similar at work a few weeks ago. One of our colleagues was off work for a while due to his Mother in Portugal being ill, then she died so he stayed in Portugal to take care of her affairs. He was still in touch with Managers periodically then one Friday the Police showed up at work asking for details of his next of kin. Turned out that it had all been a lie to cover for his depression and he had hung himself in his flat.
Absolutely awful but the story was intentional to stop people from 'bothering' him.
Lovely man very much missed.

indiana · Tennis legend

Just wish all the best to anyone in any way effected.

One thing I do think ( directly or indirectly effected ) is it's almost always better to share and the reaction and support you get will probably surpass anything you could have expected.

Been there, had quite long periods of depression when off work. Helped so much when I was more open with certain people as I should have been earlier.

JonH comes home · Tennis legend

emmsie69 wrote:
We had similar at work a few weeks ago. One of our colleagues was off work for a while due to his Mother in Portugal being ill, then she died so he stayed in Portugal to take care of her affairs. He was still in touch with Managers periodically then one Friday the Police showed up at work asking for details of his next of kin. Turned out that it had all been a lie to cover for his depression and he had hung himself in his flat.
Absolutely awful but the story was intentional to stop people from 'bothering' him.
Lovely man very much missed.

Thats so sad, Emmsie, and it leaves a mark on everyone left behind.

Var · Futures qualifying

Thinking about you and your friends and family Jon.

JonH comes home · Tennis legend

So sad to hear today that Ricky Hatton has passed away aged 46. He had ongoing battles with alcohol and depression. He was my favourite boxer when he was in his prime.

RIP Ricky.

AB1984 · Newbie

Again i'm more of a follower on this board than a poster but these subjects are so important to talk about.

So to be open about my own situation, im a 41 year old male that lives with bi polar, BPD and ADHD. I've had problems since i was 14 when a friend of mine passed away.

I would say ive made approximately 10 attempts on my life but none more final than the 29th September 2024 I'd made up my mind that was going to be my final day. When people say to me now you should have picked up the phone i would have listened it really isnt that simple, you are so far detached from reality it's very very scary when I look back but I felt completely in control that day for the first time in a very long time if not ever. Sussex CCC were going to win the Div 2 that day so i was going to see that and sit with my mates in the deckchairs one last time, i took a trip to my local after for a celebratory beer and again to visit and see everyone one last time. I then took myself off and alone, well you know, i wont go into too much detail. This was around 10pm at night im guessing and someone must have either seen me or i was acting strangely because an Ambulance turned up or me, i still have no idea who called it but whoever did saved my life.

I felt a lot of anger towards that for a few weeks after as i began my recovery because i felt the control i had was snatched away from me but I made a promise to myself I was going to do everything i possibly could to not let it beat me. So i attended every piece of counselling I could, saw a very doctor who now has me on the right medication. I sought out alternative methods (some work and some are bordering on witchcraft

) but I did it, now im thriving in all aspects of my life and although i still have my moments i feel I have the tools and above all else the strength and the will to never let beat me.

This certainly isnt an easy thing to write but it's so important that people that are struggling know that there is always another way out, it isnt easy but you can and will beat it.

JonH comes home · Tennis legend

AB1984 wrote:
Again i'm more of a follower on this board than a poster but these subjects are so important to talk about.

So to be open about my own situation, im a 41 year old male that lives with bi polar, BPD and ADHD. I've had problems since i was 14 when a friend of mine passed away.

I would say ive made approximately 10 attempts on my life but none more final than the 29th September 2024 I'd made up my mind that was going to be my final day. When people say to me now you should have picked up the phone i would have listened it really isnt that simple, you are so far detached from reality it's very very scary when I look back but I felt completely in control that day for the first time in a very long time if not ever. Sussex CCC were going to win the Div 2 that day so i was going to see that and sit with my mates in the deckchairs one last time, i took a trip to my local after for a celebratory beer and again to visit and see everyone one last time. I then took myself off and alone, well you know, i wont go into too much detail. This was around 10pm at night im guessing and someone must have either seen me or i was acting strangely because an Ambulance turned up or me, i still have no idea who called it but whoever did saved my life.

I felt a lot of anger towards that for a few weeks after as i began my recovery because i felt the control i had was snatched away from me but I made a promise to myself I was going to do everything i possibly could to not let it beat me. So i attended every piece of counselling I could, saw a very doctor who now has me on the right medication. I sought out alternative methods (some work and some are bordering on witchcraft ) but I did it, now im thriving in all aspects of my life and although i still have my moments i feel I have the tools and above all else the strength and the will to never let beat me.

This certainly isnt an easy thing to write but it's so important that people that are struggling know that there is always another way out, it isnt easy but you can and will beat it.

Gosh, that is so brave to share that and thank you so much for doing so. Whoever called that ambulance was an angel and they must feel so pleased to see you thriving now.

Im glad you found your way to this board and glad you are continuing to visit us, and take part when you feel like it.

Stay safe and continue to thrive and thank you again

DF · Tennis legend

Good for you.