Thanks as always to Indie for supplying the data - any errors are my own.

ATP players and points 20/03/23

Titles to week 17

-- Edited by Strongbow on Friday 5th of May 2023 03:52:50 PM

The top 10 GB women over time

Strongbow wrote:

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A blast from the past - thinking about this today - Can't use Youtube or there'll be 20 adverts

 

I was riding on the Mayflower
When I thought I spied some land
Start again
Wait a minute now man
Okay, take 2

 

I was riding on the Mayflower
When I thought I spied some land
I yelled for Captain Arab, I have you understand
Who came a-running to the deck
Said, "Boys, forget the whale
Where goin' over yonder, cut the engines, change the sails"
"Haul on the bowline", we sang that melody
Like all tough sailors do
When they are far away at sea

 

"I think I'll call it America"
I said as we hit land
I took a deep breath
I fell down, I could not stand
Captain Arab, he started writing up some deeds
He said, "Let's set up a fort
And start buyin' the place with beads"
Just then this cop comes down the street
Crazy as a loon
He throws us all in jail, for carryin' harpoons

 

Ah, me I busted out, don't even ask me how
I went to get some help
I walked by a Guernsey cow
Who directed me down, to the Bowery slums
Where people carried signs around, sayin', "Ban the bums"
I jumped right into line, sayin'
"I hope that I'm not late"
When I realized I hadn't eaten for five days straight

 

I went into a restaurant lookin' for the cook
I told them I was the editor
Of a famous etiquette book
The waitress, he was handsome
He wore a powder-blue cape
I ordered some suzette
I said, "Could you please make that crepe"
Just then the whole kitchen, exploded from boilin' fat
Food was flyin' everywhere, I left without my hat

 

Now, I didn't mean to be nosy
But I went into a bank
To get some bail for Arab
And all the boys back in the tank
They asked me for some collateral
And I pulled down my pants
They threw me in the alley
When up comes this girl from France
Who invited me to her house
I went, but she had a friend
Who knocked me out and robbed my boots
And I was on the street again

 

Well, I rapped upon a house
With the U.S. flag upon display
I said, "Could you help me out?
I got some friends down the way"
The man says, "Get out of here
I'll tear you limb from limb"
I said, "You know, they refused Jesus, too"
He said, "You're not Him"
"Get out of here before I break your bones
I ain't your pop"
I decided to have him arrested
And I went looking for a cop

 

I ran right outside, I hopped inside a cab
I went out the other door, this Englishman said, "Fab"
As he saw me leap a hot dog stand
And a chariot that stood
Parked across from a building advertising brotherhood
I ran right through the front door
Like a hobo sailor does
But it was just a funeral parlor
And the man asked me who I was

 

I repeated that my friends were all in jail
With a sigh
He gave me his card, he said
"Call me if they die"
I shook his hand and said, "Goodbye"
Ran out to the street
When a bowling ball came down the road
And knocked me off my feet
A pay phone was ringing
And it just about blew my mind
When I picked it up and said, "Hello"
This foot came through the line

 

Well, by this time I was fed up
At tryin' to make a stab
At bringin' back any help
For my friends and Captain Arab
I decided to flip a coin
Like either heads or tails
Would let me know, if I should go
Back to ship or back to jail
So I, hocked my sailor suit
And I got a coin to flip
It came up tails, it rhymed with sails
So I made it back to the ship

 

Well, I got back
And took the parkin' ticket off the mast
I was ripping it to shreds
When this Coast Guard boat went past
They asked me my name, and I said, "Captain Kidd"
They believed, me but they wanted to know
What exactly that I did
I said, for the Pope, of Eruke I was employed
They let me go right away, they were very paranoid

Well, the last I heard of Arab
He was, stuck on a whale
That was married to the deputy, sheriff of the jail
But the funniest thing was
When I was leavin' the bay
I saw three ships a-sailin'
They were all heading my way
I asked the captain what his name was
And how come he didn't drive a truck
He said his name was Columbus
I just said, "Good luck"

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 A tip for anyone who is fed up with those ads, just download Brave as an extra browser (or use it as your main if you prefer) and switch to it when you need to go on Youtube. I haven't watched a Youtube ad in 5 years.