British Tennis Forum - Celebrating 20 Years!

Sheddie · Sheddie

Mayweather, are you listening? In the gym, sweat is glistening I'll eat you alive - and take you in five Walking in a Hatton Wonderland Cheerio to the pasties See ya beers, no more Astis I'll rip off yer 'ead - and put you to bed Walking in a Hatton Wonderland When I get home I'm gonna build a snowman Then pre...

Sheddie · Sheddie

The arcade was pretty popular last year, how about a festive challenge on this game: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/games/play/1092/ I got 723 1st run -- Edited by RobC at 13:06, 2007-12-23

Sheddie · Sheddie

The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All...

Sheddie · Sheddie

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood , "because I ci...

Sheddie · Sheddie

One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step. Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzip...

Madeline · Madeline

Dedicated to all those who think nobody needs to learn to spell in these days of spellcheckers: I have a spelling checker It came with my PC It plane lee marks for my revue Miss steaks aye can knot sea. Eye ran this pome rite threw it, Your sure reel glad two no. Its vary polished in its weigh -- My checker tol...

imoen · imoen

Hope you have a lovely day with lots of family and presents (possibly not in that order )

Sheddie · Sheddie

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!' The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out...

Sheddie · Sheddie

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad' With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Dad, I...

Sheddie · Sheddie

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ______________________________ ___________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ______________________________ ________ ATTORNEY: This myasthen...

Salmon · Salmon

He has disappeared all of a sudden, it seems. -- Edited by Arka at 03:05, 2007-11-07

Drew · Drew

Summer time is at an end....well BST is....clocks go back an hour folks just in case anyone forgot....you get an extra hour into the bargain !!!

Sheddie · Sheddie

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said...

Sheddie · Sheddie

Sheddie · Sheddie

JASON ROBINSON, Andrew Sheridan and Jonny Wilkinson are standing before God at the throne of Heaven. God looks at them and says: "Before granting you a place at my side, I must first ask you what you believe in." Addressing Robinson first, he asks: "What do you believe?" Robins...

Drew · Drew

Anyone heardfrom Sally lately ?

Ashiq · Ashiq

Salam hello everyone! I'm Ashiq from Qatar,I like Tennis alot...I'm new here & I hope I'll get many friends here... Love

Salmon · Salmon

It's slightly late, but still...

RobC · RobC

The race begins on Sunday at 10am. I'm sailing on a boat called "Habanero" - we're in Class 2C You can follow our progress here: http://fastnet.rorc.org/tracking.asp It's a 608- mile long race, and should take us about 5 days. The winners will be home in about 2! - but we can still beat the...

Montana Doug · Montana Doug

Marcus second tournament: I am so sorry that this is late. I have been busy, but as your support was so great for my sons first tournament I wanted to let you know how he did in his second tournament. This tournament was the Montana State Junior Open. The appeal of this tournament is that the best players f...

RobC · RobC

He's lurking - reading posts 8 hours ago - and has been for a weekm but no posts since he took the weekend off...... Anyone got any ideas? Has he met the future Mrs Sheddie and had better things to do all week? Have the Sheddie parents put their feet down and limitd his internet time to 20 mins a day? Has hi...

Sheddie · Sheddie

Just wondered whether some of you might be able to give some advice on something which is bothering me atm, to do with the mental aspect of the game. I've had a couple of matches recently which I should have won easily but just haven't taken my chances. I played a Czech guy a few days ago (bit of a counter-pu...

Drew · Drew

As the LTA could not use our domain name they came up with their own rather long-winded version.... http://www.insidebritishtennis.net/ Very basic so far but they have obviously seen what we do and see the need for something official !!!!!

Sheddie · Sheddie

Welcome back ! Where did u go on hols ?

Montana Doug · Montana Doug

I wanted to let my friends/members here know that I have entered my son into his first tennis tournament. He is playing in the Bozeman City Tournament and entered into both the singles and the doubles at the 12 & under level (I will place links to both draws at the bottom of this). My son Marcus is only...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Winter wonderland - an alternative christmas carol....tribute to Ricky Hatton and his fans (Preview) Mayweather, are you listening? In the gym, sweat is glistening I'll eat you alive - and take you in five Walking in a Hatton Wonderland Cheerio to the pasties See ya beers, no more Astis I'll rip off yer 'ead - and put you to bed Walking in a Hatton Wonderland When I get home I'm gonna build a snowman Then pre...	Sheddie	0	755	Dec 24, 2007 by Sheddie
	Festive snowboarding game (Preview) The arcade was pretty popular last year, how about a festive challenge on this game: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/games/play/1092/ I got 723 1st run -- Edited by RobC at 13:06, 2007-12-23	Sheddie	6	739	Dec 23, 2007 by RobC
	Lawyer jokes (Preview) The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All...	Sheddie	0	679	Dec 18, 2007 by Sheddie
	The one in charge (Preview) All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood , "because I ci...	Sheddie	0	608	Dec 18, 2007 by Sheddie
	Bus Stop (Preview) One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step. Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzip...	Sheddie	0	646	Dec 18, 2007 by Sheddie
	My spellchecker (Preview) Dedicated to all those who think nobody needs to learn to spell in these days of spellcheckers: I have a spelling checker It came with my PC It plane lee marks for my revue Miss steaks aye can knot sea. Eye ran this pome rite threw it, Your sure reel glad two no. Its vary polished in its weigh -- My checker tol...	Madeline	1	785	Nov 21, 2007 by Count Zero
	Happy Birthday Madeline. (Preview) Hope you have a lovely day with lots of family and presents (possibly not in that order )	imoen	12	1209	Nov 12, 2007 by Madeline
	Married life - joke thread (Preview) A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!' The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out...	Sheddie	0	800	Nov 12, 2007 by Sheddie
	School reports (Preview) A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad' With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Dad, I...	Sheddie	0	637	Nov 12, 2007 by Sheddie
	Disorder in the American courts (2) (Preview) ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ______________________________ ___________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ______________________________ ________ ATTORNEY: This myasthen...	Sheddie	0	694	Nov 12, 2007 by Sheddie
	Where is mkkreuk? (Preview) He has disappeared all of a sudden, it seems. -- Edited by Arka at 03:05, 2007-11-07	Salmon	2	872	Nov 7, 2007 by Sheddie
	The Summers over..... (Preview) Summer time is at an end....well BST is....clocks go back an hour folks just in case anyone forgot....you get an extra hour into the bargain !!!	Drew	3	762	Nov 2, 2007 by RobC
	Qantas (Preview) After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said...	Sheddie	2	819	Oct 22, 2007 by Drew
	How to greet an Englishman (Preview)	Sheddie	1	1037	Oct 20, 2007 by johnnylad
	Rugby world cup jokes (Preview) JASON ROBINSON, Andrew Sheridan and Jonny Wilkinson are standing before God at the throne of Heaven. God looks at them and says: "Before granting you a place at my side, I must first ask you what you believe in." Addressing Robinson first, he asks: "What do you believe?" Robins...	Sheddie	1	2561	Oct 20, 2007 by Sheddie
	Sally ? (Preview) Anyone heardfrom Sally lately ?	Drew	5	1024	Oct 6, 2007 by Madeline
	I'm New here (Preview) Salam hello everyone! I'm Ashiq from Qatar,I like Tennis alot...I'm new here & I hope I'll get many friends here... Love	Ashiq	5	794	Sep 9, 2007 by RobC
	Happy Birthdays, Toby, John and Rochelle. (Preview) It's slightly late, but still...	Salmon	0	786	Aug 18, 2007 by Salmon
	Follow RobC's progress in the Fastnet Race ( 1 2 ) (Preview) The race begins on Sunday at 10am. I'm sailing on a boat called "Habanero" - we're in Class 2C You can follow our progress here: http://fastnet.rorc.org/tracking.asp It's a 608- mile long race, and should take us about 5 days. The winners will be home in about 2! - but we can still beat the...	RobC	23	2154	Aug 15, 2007 by RobC
	My son's second USTA tournament (Preview) Marcus second tournament: I am so sorry that this is late. I have been busy, but as your support was so great for my sons first tournament I wanted to let you know how he did in his second tournament. This tournament was the Montana State Junior Open. The appeal of this tournament is that the best players f...	Montana Doug	7	940	Aug 11, 2007 by Salmon
	Where is Sheddie? (Preview) He's lurking - reading posts 8 hours ago - and has been for a weekm but no posts since he took the weekend off...... Anyone got any ideas? Has he met the future Mrs Sheddie and had better things to do all week? Have the Sheddie parents put their feet down and limitd his internet time to 20 mins a day? Has hi...	RobC	4	991	Aug 7, 2007 by johnnylad
	Tennis advice (Preview) Just wondered whether some of you might be able to give some advice on something which is bothering me atm, to do with the mental aspect of the game. I've had a couple of matches recently which I should have won easily but just haven't taken my chances. I played a Czech guy a few days ago (bit of a counter-pu...	Sheddie	2	874	Jul 30, 2007 by Count Zero
	insidebritishtennis.net by the LTA (Preview) As the LTA could not use our domain name they came up with their own rather long-winded version.... http://www.insidebritishtennis.net/ Very basic so far but they have obviously seen what we do and see the need for something official !!!!!	Drew	0	731	Jul 30, 2007 by Drew
	Welcome back johnnylad ! (Preview) Welcome back ! Where did u go on hols ?	Sheddie	2	728	Jul 25, 2007 by Drew
	My son's first USTA tournament ( 1 2 3 ) (Preview) I wanted to let my friends/members here know that I have entered my son into his first tennis tournament. He is playing in the Bozeman City Tournament and entered into both the singles and the doubles at the 12 & under level (I will place links to both draws at the bottom of this). My son Marcus is only...	Montana Doug	30	2820	Jul 20, 2007 by john
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