A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed
nicely made up and everything neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope
propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad' With the
worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with
trembling hands:


Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I
had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene
with you and Mom. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is
so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her
piercing, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so
much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad, she's
pregnant. Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a
trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole
winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Joan has opened
my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be
growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all
the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray
that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she
sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to
take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can
get to know your grandchildren.



Your son, Chad


P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the
report card that's in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe
for me to come home.