Unlikely to be around much in 2024

goldfish · Futures qualifying

Unlikely to be around much in 2024

Tanaqui · Intermediate Club Player

Sorry to hear it has been so difficult to sort things out and that companies have been so incompetent and unhelpful with what is, in any case, a difficult process.

I hope you can resolve the remaining issues and get the estate settled soon, and then find some time to enjoy tennis and make your much valued contributions to the board again.

Elegant Point · Satellite level

So sorry to hear your news. Have heard from friends probate is a nightmare, whole system needs simplifying. Have recently had to clear out my parents house - my mother was a hoarder- so know how time consuming it can be. We ended up paying BHF to take away stuff they could sell in their charity shops. Hope everything goes as smoothly can be expected and please take time out for yourself ( and maybe watch a bit of tennis!)

christ · Futures qualifying

Having been an executor, the secret that I have found to probate is to have relatives die with very small estates. It simplifies everything enormously.

... but you have my enormous sympathy as none of the parties that do this regularly (banks, building societies, estate agents, etc., etc., have many, many people die on them, and have to provide information as a result hundreds/ thousands of times a year), and could help greatly by telling you how things work, seem inclined to "waste their time" by doing so. In fact they try to give the impression that this is the first time that they have done it, and they are learning with you (often because that is true for the person that they front up with)

Nix · Futures qualifying

I have been through this process Kundalini when my father died. He also had an overseas property which added more fun to the proceedings! Trying to get through the Spanish consulate phone system (press 1 for passports, two for visas etc. then you go through another few layers before it tells you that the information you require is in the website - it wasnt!) Arrggghhh. We also were told that there was a charge on my dad's house. We knew there wasnt but the mortgage had been paid off years before and the BS was now a different one and all the old records were archived. In the end I sent a (I thought witty but pleading) email to the CEOs office and it was eventually sorted so we could sell the house.

I really feel your pain.

I hope youre back soon Kundalini, as we miss you.

kundalini · Specialist Reporter + Intermediate Club Player

Nix wrote:
I have been through this process Kundalini when my father died. He also had an overseas property which added more fun to the proceedings! Trying to get through the Spanish consulate phone system (press 1 for passports, two for visas etc. then you go through another few layers before it tells you that the information you require is in the website - it wasnt!) Arrggghhh. We also were told that there was a charge on my dad's house. We knew there wasnt but the mortgage had been paid off years before and the BS was now a different one and all the old records were archived. In the end I sent a (I thought witty but pleading) email to the CEOs office and it was eventually sorted so we could sell the house.

I really feel your pain.

I hope youre back soon Kundalini, as we miss you.

My dad has/had (never quite sure which to use) an apartment in Tenerife. My sister and brother are due to fly out next week to start the process over there, they have meetings arranged with lawyers and estate agents are scheduled to visit to get a probate valuation for the apartment that I can write on IHT 400 form. In the days before he died, my dad was worried that his Tenerife car might not be fixed by the garage in time for his return to the island on the Tuesday (day he died) - the clutch had failed. The cost of the repairs are very similar to the value of the car. The woman from the garage with brilliant english has not replied to either of my two most recent emails. I don't speak Spanish. Not been to Spain for 35 years. Never been to Tenerife. The garage is 80 km from my dad's apartment. Someone else has apparently got my dad's car parking space. My brother doesn't want to drive the car. I was hoping the garage would deliver the car to my dad's apartment provided I paid the bill for fixing the car in advance; since no reply to recent emails this isn't looking likely.

Got the Apostille sticker on the death certificate; only £57 including return postage to Foreign and Commonwealth Office. One of my dad's Tenerife friends mentioned it as her husband died a few years ago.

Chaos doesn't even come close to describing the current situation.

-- Edited by kundalini on Friday 23rd of February 2024 11:04:26 PM

wolf · Tennis legend

I am really sorry for your loss, Kundalini, and hope that your stresses in dealing with this lessen over time.

I wasnt going to mention this on the board but my Dad also died unexpectedly a couple of weeks back and me and my family are trying to get our heads around this process. I was wondering if there is any reason why you wouldnt use a probate solicitor? We are considering using the Co-Op - which at least offers a fixed price - but not really sure what else is out there or if it is best not to use one.

Any help/experiences from the good people of this board would be appreciated.

kundalini · Specialist Reporter + Intermediate Club Player

wolf wrote:
I am really sorry for your loss, Kundalini, and hope that your stresses in dealing with this lessen over time.

I wasnt going to mention this on the board but my Dad also died unexpectedly a couple of weeks back and me and my family are trying to get our heads around this process. I was wondering if there is any reason why you wouldnt use a probate solicitor? We are considering using the Co-Op - which at least offers a fixed price - but not really sure what else is out there or if it is best not to use one.

Any help/experiences from the good people of this board would be appreciated.

Honest answer to that question is that my savings were being used for expenses related to my dad's death and also helping my brother out financially during an uncertain time-frame, so I wanted to do the simple things myself and then use professionals for difficult stuff that was completely beyond me. I'm estimating that professionals of various types are going to cost us £50K as it is, selling my dad's UK house and Tenerife apartment, arranging the Spanish side etc.

My sister has just moved house. Her solicitors have been hopeless. She has had to return numerous documents to them as they got basic things wrong. Clearly you are going to get good, average and poor in any profession. I'm not in a position to know which probate solicitors would be good value for money. If someone I trusted had said early on that they used ABC then I might seriously have considered it.

No idea if it was a sensible or stupid move on my part.

-- Edited by kundalini on Saturday 24th of February 2024 03:20:13 AM

wolf · Tennis legend

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Good luck with it all.

kundalini · Specialist Reporter + Intermediate Club Player

wolf wrote:
Thank you for taking the time to reply. Good luck with it all.

That's very sad news about your dad.

I found it quite difficult to know what order to do things in. Never mind almost being in tears while attempting to buy my sister a Christmas present in Waterstones and shopping in Tesco. My brain could only do one thing at once - most of the time it was thinking about my dad, or composing emails to his friends, assessing his life and so on. Simple stuff like crossing roads, cooking food, doing the shopping became difficult as my brain was busy. My sister was crying a lot for the first month after my dad's death.

Take care

wolf · Tennis legend

Indeed. Same.

JonH comes home · Tennis legend

Firstly, Wolf and Kundalini, so sorry for your losses and I hope you and I wish you and your families well.

Ive never had to go through this sort of stuff, but my parents are mid 80s and I know it will come sometime. Not something I will look forwards to.

Take care both, and all the other people here going through similar family traumas.

DF · Tennis legend

The situation after a death such as you Kundalini and you wolf have suffered seems to have been made much worse with having to

sort out the financial aspect. I found this out myself when I lost my mother.

I wonder if having a power of attorney would have made the situation easier. We have been advised to set one up so that it will be easier for our

children in the future. Does anyone here have any experience of these?

JonH comes home · Tennis legend

DF wrote:
The situation after a death such as you Kundalini and you wolf have suffered seems to have been made much worse with having to

sort out the financial aspect. I found this out myself when I lost my mother.

I wonder if having a power of attorney would have made the situation easier. We have been advised to set one up so that it will be easier for our

children in the future. Does anyone here have any experience of these?

Ive mentioned our friend Marjory, the 101 year old who died a couple of months ago. Her son had power of attorney. It seems to have been a doddle for him to be honest. Theyd actually transferred her flat into his name several years ago, so hes selling it for him. And her other financials appear very straightforwards.

im sure it isnt all simple but it seems so. Shed actually promised my wife that shed left her something but it doesnt appear to have got through to the son or the will, and we dont care to be honest. Not something to mention as its not important. But all else seems to be going very smoothly for them.

Coup Droit · Tennis legend

Firstly, so sorry for people's losses, and for having to deal with all the added stress of admin and finance, at a time of grief.

This is all very close to my heart too

It's my partner (and siblings) who are dealing with it, not me, and it's a mother's death, leaving everything to the father (who is reasonably well-off) so there is no complication and no immediate financial need

The siblings chose to use high-powered solicitors, then did most of the work themselves (pretty cumbersome and time-consuming - and how do you set up an executors account when you have to go in person (reasonable) but so many branches are shut down now and the ones left only offer that service on two days of the month, booked up for miles in advance?)

The solicitors bills have been/still are astonomical.

(Interesting, isn't it, that solicitors (either as executors or not) are allowed to charge for handling probate and yet the personal executors are not.....)

It's going through OK but there's no foreign assets or things of that ilk

However, a friend of mine is handling her mother's estate - again no major problems - but she said the 'Tell Us Once' service was a godsend. Don't know if it's useful to anyone. The Govt says that "Tell Us Once is a service that lets you report a death to most government organisations in one go." My friend said it saved a lot of time and hassle. Probably too late for most of the people already concerned but just in case it's helpful:

www.gov.uk/after-a-death/organisations-you-need-to-contact-and-tell-us-once