Thanks for all the kind comments.

Just to say that my experiences to date dealing with my dad's affairs could be turned into an award winning Edinburgh festival show with the audience in hysterics.

Almost got to the stage of sending in the IHT 400 form - close to 80 pages - with instructions to the banks and building societies to send all the money to HMRC to pay (45% of the) inheritance tax, only you can't do that as the interest for the current tax year only gets added when the account is closed, so will have several accounts with relatively small amounts left in, that I will then need to deal with when the Grant of Probate finally arrives.

It is interesting that when I have had to phone a company several times, I end up getting advice that contradicts previous advice, so am left completely confused. This week a woman working for Coventry Building Society contradicted both previous advice given and the Bereavement guide that they had sent me. I had only phoned to discover the max amount I could send to HMRC. Rang again the following day to be told the initial advice and Bereavement guide were correct. A bit like Supreme Court (or similar) majority verdict.

Every form from a company seems to be written in a way so that it is unclear if I am meant to respond now or when I've got the Grant of Probate. Phone them to discover the answer and it depends which operator eventually answers the phone. In one case, the line was so terrible that I couldn't hear much of what was being said after the first minute or two. When I called back, a different person said the complete opposite of the first person (who I had spoken to the previous day as well). If a form says providing evidence of A is vital, you can pretty much guarantee that the people answering the phone will say they don't care about A. 

I unwisely thought my dad's bank would make a special effort if I turned up in person with the death certificate and his bank card. No. Waited in line for 20+ mins. Then told I needed to bring the Will and two forms of identity. One of his building societies is a few hundred metres from the bank. I also have an account with this particular building society. I got seen by the trainee/new recruit who didn't know the answer to anything. Told I had to book an appointment the following week -I couldn't manage that date - so ended up almost 2 weeks later. Then had to wait beyond the arranged time as the manager of the branch was the only person sufficiently skilled to deal with this type of situation and she was serving customers while 4 more staff stood around looking as though they weren't doing anything.

Life and pension companies seem to get taken over/merged almost every year leading to total confusion. My Dad had a policy with a company called Crescent, who became something else, then at some stage the same policy was with Alba, then most recently Phoenix. In order to get answers to questions you need to know the history of the policy, as otherwise telephone person 1 asks questions then after 5 mins says "sorry I can't deal with this policy. You need to phone this number". Telephone person 2 follows the same pattern. Telephone person 3 repeat. Finally person 4 is able to start the process to inform them of the death. That wasn't an hour well spent. This company later told me the value of the policy at date of death was Z, then this month deposited a slightly lower amount in my building society account (and sent letter) so I phoned to check the appropriate value to write on the IHT 400 form. I was told the value at date of death was the same amount they had sent me.

One of my initial calls was to Halifax as my dad had a credit card from them in his wallet. Over 45 mins spent answering mind numbing questions. Two weeks ago the estate received a payment (from Phoenix) so I thought I will pay off the credit card debts; M & S done easily, likewise Tesco Bank. On to Halifax. Another 45 mins spent answering the same questions as in early Jan. Their computer system is so useless that the information evidently got lost/forgotten. Told I couldn't pay off the amount owed at that time. Instead I would have to wait until the Bereavement team accounts people dealt with the account which would take the standard 15 to 20 working days. This week phoned Halifax to check the balance at date of death (needed for IHT 400 form) of an account my dad had forgotten still existed - most probably because he tried to close it only for interest to be added later thus keeping it alive - only to be told they had written off the debt (£53). If they had done that in early January I would have thought highly of them, yet by requiring me to answer the same set of questions, I view them as being completely incompetent.

Yesterday spent 25 mins waiting for a real person working for HMRC inheritance tax helpline to answer the phone. After answering various security questions, got the first of my questions helpfully answered then a computer voice said "thanks for calling. Goodbye", call ended. Phoned back a bit later, another 25 mins wait before a human answered the phone. Other days, the computer gives instructions for a few mins then says "We're busy. Goodbye" My best was a 11 minute wait, having phoned at 9.03 am (they open at 9 am).

How do you tell the difference between a company that takes 20 working days to respond to anything and a company that has simply forgotten ? One Life and Pensions company simply forgot about sending a form for one of the two policies my dad had with them.

Did the estate agent that mentioned a probate valuation figure during the 45 mins he spent looking around the house and garden, intend to send a letter or email too, or was that it ? I pop into the shop on route to the bakery on Saturdays. The Saturday staff don't know the answer to anything. They tell me they will get co-owner (who did valuation) to call me on Monday. Didn't happen. I email him on Tuesday, perhaps 3 weeks after his visit. He replies on Saturday to let me know I will receive a letter by X. It arrived a couple of days after this deadline. I got two estate agents to give probate valuations. They differ by £200K. I have chosen a mid-point valuation (or average of the two figures) for the IHT 400 form - it is £50K above the £1m figure that my dad estimated the house to be worth, though can't recall how many years ago that was. He used to keep track of prices local houses were sold for. Of course HMRC wouldn't be impressed if I wrote "dad thought it was worth £1m a year or two ago."

Estimating the value of household goods is beyond me. Several items are either worth £50 to £100 or absolutely nothing. There is no way to tell at this stage. Blu-rays yet to be unwrapped that cost between £10 and £15 now have an average value of £1. DVDs and CDs more like 10p to 30p on average. Lost patience so just came up with a number that might be far too high or ridiculously low. No art collections, paintings, items worth £1,500 or more.

We are in a fortunate position in that my dad was a consultant radiologist then clinical director so earned a good salary, leaving a decent inheritance for me, my brother and sister, once this whole process has been completed. We also had the password for his computer, his email, finally guessed the code to unlock his phone after 4 or 5 failed attempts. While he did not expect to die, he had written a list of his assets that he updated periodically, though wasn't able to keep track of all the name changes of Life and Pensions companies or those magic tricks that turn 444 shares into 337 and had written his Will 23 years ago, when my Mum wrote hers, in the knowledge that she was dying of cerebral secondaries of breast cancer. He also kept almost every document he ever received (both helpful and not) including all the documents related to my Mum's probate and had already handed us a print out of the inheritance tax nil rate band and residence nil rate band rules, including my Mum's unused percentage (he got the figures slightly wrong as for unknown reasons he missed a couple of £1000 gifts given to nephews and nieces in my mum's will) and the ability to apply her residence nil rate band even though it didn't exist when she died. I have no idea how people who don't have this information cope. While I'm in favour of inheritance tax, the system is completely crazy. When my Mum died, my dad dealt with all the admin side.

Lots more that I've missed out, mostly following a similar pattern. From memory, there might have been 3 or 4 easy to deal with companies/government agencies. Hour after hour reading the relevant inheritance tax forms and notes. Helped my sister paint 3 rooms in her new home, she was moving her stuff in yesterday but apparently still continuing today, as her boyfriend isn't well so wasn't sufficiently organised.

Regarding tennis: I watched 8 mins highlights of Emma's matches in Australia + New Zealand. My phone told me Jodie had won the opening set of her Aus Open 1st round so I started to watch only for her to collapse completely.