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Akhenaten


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RE: Rudy coco! It's Namibia F1!!
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Jurgens Strydom : the Pride Of Namibia

Good morning! What an exciting day (again) yesterday!

Namibia has gone wild! Jurgens Strydom has reached the quarterfinals! Employers are expecting a mass one-day-flu epidemic today, as workers stay home to watch Jurgens' quarterfinal with top seed, Matteo Volante (who beat Filenkov 6-2 6-0). Try as he might to keep a low profile, Strydom's face is splashed all over the front pages of the papers, and '2007 Strydom commemorative mugs' are already selling like hot gemsbok pies. Namibia has gone Strydom crazy!

The day started off with the popular Madagascan, Lofo Ramiaramanan, bidding farewell to the championships, falling 6-1 6-3 to the German, Matthias Dorfler. It was a disappointing performance by Ramiaramanan, who by the second set it looked as if he was scared of hitting the ball.

Then Ruckelshausen and Seator did their stuff in impressive style.

And the day's play ended with the young South Africa F1 champion, Dani Arsenov's departure from the singles. Claudio Grassi (6th seed), fought off the tenacious Russian 4-6 6-1 6-3.

But the day belonged to one man - Jurgens Strydom!

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RobC


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laughing.gif I have this vision of a Namibian tennis administrator or a player drawn against him googling "Jurgens Strydom", and coming up with this thread........ what will they think?biggrin.gif

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RobC


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saying that, this is what  "The Namibian" reported:

Strydom wins
NAMIBIA'S Jurgens Strydom got off to a winning start in the first round of the ITF F1 Futures Tennis Tournament in Windhoek yesterday. ...
www.namibian.com.na/2007/October/sport/07C5FB8CA2.html - 16k - Cached - Similar pages


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Akhenaten


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You don't want to believe what you read in the papers, Rob.  They make half of it up.  Most of the time, the reporters aren't even there!

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Akhenaten


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Message from Lahore (3)


Hi

Tennis going well again. Into quarters. Vejjy's still grumpy though. Barthy's other leg's in plaster. Hope all is well in Namibia.

Hope you are remembering to give aardvarks their Omega-3 supplement tablets.

Many thanks

Bogdan.

PS. Very happy. Rocketed a trout up to 90km high this morning. :)




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Akhenaten


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Oops!

Yesterday, in an extraordinary live-on-air outburst, TV's Mr Smug, Andi Rook, excused Matteo Volante's opponent of throwing his second round match. "This guy's losing it on purpose!" exclaimed a paranoid Rook, "Hacs has bunged him a wad of cash. I just know it. This isn't fair. I don't want to wear a dress! And I certainly don't want to dance the ****ing can-can!" Rook deleted his own expletives - ever the professional.

Ill-advisedly, his guest in the commentary box, Madagascan No.1, Lofo Ramiaramanan, jumped in on the debate, "This sort of thing happens all the time. Cash for Rash Pundits, they call it. Only this morning, I los-"

I assume at this point the microphone was wrenched out of his hand, as Ramiaramanan wasn't heard to utter another word for the rest of the match.



(Please note this is all b******s - on rare occasions I feel free to make stories up in much the same way as the tabloids.)

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Akhenaten


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Top Juniors Suspended

I've just heard some quite shocking news, the NTA have withdrawn their support for two of their top junior players, citing their behaviour as unacceptable. Their sobriety has come under close scrutiny in the past few months, in which time neither Philemon Kapaanda nor Becky Moongo have been seen to touch a single drop of alcohol.

A spokesman from the NTA said, " We wish to make no comment."

Then quickly commented, "It's a disgrace. How do these so-called athletes expect to reach the top of their profession without a professional liquid diet? Just look at the greats - Paul "Gazza" Gascoigne, Alex "Hurricane" Higgins, Amy "No No No" Whitehouse. All sporting greats - and all knew the importance of a double whiskey. These kids are so ignorant; they haven't even got themselves nicknames yet. Absolutely disgraceful!"

"No comment."

Kapaanda and Moongo have been withdrawn from the Namibia F1 junior tournament, and have been told to get down the pub immediately.

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Akhenaten


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The Strydom Fairytale Continues!

Jurgens Strydom has made the Semi-Finals!

Jurgens Strydom has beaten the top seed!

Namibia rejoices! Strydom Sandbank goes mental!



Jurgens Strydom has achieved the the seemingly impossible and has beaten the number one seed, Matteo Volante.  And has achieved history. Not since the great Chief Seretse Kwena in 1896 has a Namibian reached the semifinals of Namibia F1.

After Strydom won the first set 6-4, and with the crowd against him, Volante appeared to give up. Strydom took a 4-0 lead in set two, eventually taking the match, 6-4 6-2.

Incredible!




-- Edited by Akhenaten at 18:17, 2007-11-01

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Akhenaten


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Quarter-final Results

Now only the South African, Heinrich Heyl, stands between Jurgens Strydom and his first Namibia F1 final.  Heyl comfortably beat Matthias Dorfler 6-0 7-5.

Richie Ruckelshausen and Claudio Grassi have set up a potentially enthralling tie in other semi-final. Grassi ran out the winner against Ed Seator in classic match, 2-6 7-6(8) 7-6(5).  And Ruckelshausen struggled through 7-6 7-5 in his quarterfinal with Ben Van Rensburg, even though he did often appeared disappointed at his performance.

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Akhenaten


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Astonisherating

Minutes after his quarterfinal victory, Richie Ruckelshausen strode into the interview room, "My fellow Invertibrates, our continuous war on Turtle-ism continues...," he hesitated. "Though my performance at times was quite shockerating...erm...," losing confidence he mumbled, "I'm so rubbish at Bush."

Richie panicked for a second - visions of dire karaoke performances came flooding back to mind - but then with a wave of his arms, he shouted, "Nice to see you, to see you..." A room of hardened cynical journalists were unable to resist - "Nice!!!!" they joyfully cried.

Light entertainment - you can't beat it!

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Akhenaten


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The White Aardvark

After the day's excitement, I went to relax by the banks of the Windhoek Canal to keep an eye on Bogdan's aardvarks - this whole business with Preg Rusevski came to mind, but I felt reasonably safe in the knowledge he wouldn't be foolish enough to come to Namibia and risk starting a needless war - when suddenly I noticed one of Bogdan's aardvarks escaping from his cage. Not wanting to let Boggo down, I ran after it. It was an odd looking aardvark, I think it was an albino. It disappeared down a hole. Stupidly, I followed.

It was a bit scary; I seemed to fall for miles. Eventually I stopped, but the aardvark had gone. I appeared to be in a wood, and bizarrely I could make out a dinner party in progress from within the trees. I jumped up, and headed towards it.

Getting closer, I recognised one of the figures as Boy Westerhof, wearing a huge top hat. He was shouting at a 7-foot rabbit. "No room! No room!" they cried out as they saw me coming. "There's PLENTY of room!" I said indignantly, and sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table. They offered me tea, but I found no tea in the teapot - just a dormouse. The dormouse was trembling, and pleading not to be sent back into space.

Not used to such wild parties, I quickly left, but the mad Westerhof shrieked, "Stop!! Stop him! Call the King!"

Nearby, a bunch of Romanians, who'd been playing tennis, dropped their flamingo racquets, and ran over and grabbed me (much to the relief of the flamingos and a rather bruised-looking hedgehog); I struggled but it was no use. Then, suddenly, they all let go. They all started to bow. The King of Togo had arrived. "Off with his head!" screamed Loglo turning crimson with fury. "Off--"

Hearing this, I just ran - I ran and ran and ran, until I was too exhausted to run anymore. And it was then I saw it. In the tree. The grin. Just a grin. But it was unmistakable. There was only one grin in the world like that.


The grin of... Preg Rusevski.


"No!!!!!!!!!!"

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john


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LMAO you've created a wierd and wonderful world Akhenaten. Brilliant!

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Sheddie


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rofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gif

This is absolutely classic stuff, fabulous reading every lunchtime at work biggrin.gif, and in case you hadn't noticed it's had a massive number of views this week....820ish to date !

It would be so cool if Loglo or Rusevski actually found this thread biggrin.gif

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Sheddie


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Just checked the site stats and this thread actually had a click from Windhoek yesterday jawdrop.gif

Wonder which player it was biggrin.gif

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imoen


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Sheddie wrote:

Just checked the site stats and this thread actually had a click from Windhoek yesterday jawdrop.gif


Well of course it did, where do you think Akhenaten's posting from?! Silly Sheddie.



-- Edited by imoen at 23:50, 2007-11-01

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