British Tennis Forum - Celebrating 20 Years!

Salmon · Salmon

Michael · Michael

I can't access MTF (menstennisforums) and need to send a message to someone. Someone with an account on the forum could they send a message to someone called Forever-Delayed with what i say below just copy and paste it if you can. Thank You to whoever can help! "Hi this is from Superhoops, he has no...

steven · steven

Would you believe you can now buy a Wimby umpire's jacket. Yes, really! Haute couture that's a snip at £420! I can think of one good reason for buying one - sneaking into the umpire's chair on Centre Court and seeing how long it takes for them to realise you're not a real one! Just think how many "Code...

Sheddie · Sheddie

Atm, britishtennis.net is 10th on the google listings for "British tennis." To get more clicks and therefore, more members it needs to be higher. Google listings are determined mainly on the no of clicks a site gets for google. Eg: the LTA site is top because that gets the most clicks from...

Sheddie · Sheddie

!!!!! Final exam finished this morning so I'll now be around much more on here. The full posting features are now back for me, is that the case for everyone ?

Salmon · Salmon

I am late by eight minutes.

Members Holidays... · Drew

Never been so busy at work so not been around much...always checking in though and reading bt.net. Well I am off on Sunday to the states for my summer hols with the family...I always seem to go away when Wimby is on ??? Our villa only has dial up net access but will be keeping in contact with all you lot. Plea...

john · john

Thought we should have a thread to discuss the biggest assault on our human rights for many a year. I'm talking about the smoking ban of course. Please read the following article and think "what if the word smoker was replaced with another minority group" http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/he...

Another illustrious new member · Sheddie

We had David Felgate join the site last week.... and now Neil Harman, tennis correspondent of the Times has joined !!! He registered yesterday

imoen · imoen

Because I'm fed up of posting in random threads that I like people's signatures I thought I'd start this up. So let me begin with, Arka I love your new sig, what did Sheddie do to prompt such a declaration?

Sheddie · Sheddie

you never know, this may come in useful for some of us in the near future !! 1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!" 2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, y...

john · john

Go forth and get hammered!

Sheddie · Sheddie

Answers which students have actually written in GCSE exams.... GCSE Science: Q: How does a coil turn? A: By god's will Q: Write down a test for starch A: Go to www.google.com, lookup 'starch test', find a test, and then copy it HERE Philosophy essay final in High School: Q: Why? A: Why not? Once in a chemi...

Sheddie · Sheddie

There is a Count from Transylvania Who in girls sets off some kind of mania They fall at his feet Think him some kind of treat It's so very hard to explain t'yuh! At Wim-bee, acting up like a brat He went out to young Muzz, just like that At his press conference Andy sat on the fence But thought "That blo...

Salmon · Salmon

Have a great day, Laura. And hopefully you'll have a great year ahead.

Sheddie · Sheddie

It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day, it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died." The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having...

Sheddie · Sheddie

1. Only in America.......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America.......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America.......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healt...

Sheddie · Sheddie

An English doctor is being shown around a Scottish hospital. He is shown into a ward with a number of patients who show no obvious signs of injury. He goes to examine the first patient he sees, and the man proclaims: "Fair fa' yer honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin' race!" The...

Sheddie · Sheddie

A LETTER FROM TESCO Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping. This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford: Dear Mrs. Murray, While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of ou...

Montana Doug · Montana Doug

Hopefully no one has posted these before....I found them funny. THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2005: Crack Found on Governor's Daughter[Imagine that!] Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?] Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers[Now that's taking things a bit...

Sheddie · Sheddie

I thought it'd be fun to have our own world championships for the arcade game "space invaders." I'm looking for 64 participants, please sign up in this thread stating the country you wish to represent [GB will be split up into the home nations eg: Scotland, England, Wales, NI + Isle of Man, Jersey,...

Sheddie · Sheddie

These are a collection of some of the funniest letters to be published in newspaper editorial sections...some are simply classic Could the Home Secretary explain to me how biometric checks on iris Patterns and fingerprints are going to help keep tabs on Muslim cleric Abu Hamsa. Les Barnsley ------...

Sheddie · Sheddie

I expect very interesting developments would occur..... Here are some of my conjectures, will be interesting to see what the Panda himself thinks... (1) Nadal and Lopez would get a lifetime ban from competing in Britain

(2) The clay tourneys in May would be switched to grass and there woul...

Sheddie · Sheddie

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Q: Are you sexually active? A: No, I just lie...

Salmon · Salmon

Enjoy your year, Count.

What a present Alex gave you today.

I have now taken an oath to remember all birthdays.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Happy Birthday, Doug. (Preview)	Salmon	8	842	Jul 18, 2007 by Montana Doug
	Help with MTF if you can! (Preview) I can't access MTF (menstennisforums) and need to send a message to someone. Someone with an account on the forum could they send a message to someone called Forever-Delayed with what i say below just copy and paste it if you can. Thank You to whoever can help! "Hi this is from Superhoops, he has no...	Michael	3	661	Jul 14, 2007 by Michael
	What the best-dressed nobs are wearing to garden parties this year ... (Preview) Would you believe you can now buy a Wimby umpire's jacket. Yes, really! Haute couture that's a snip at £420! I can think of one good reason for buying one - sneaking into the umpire's chair on Centre Court and seeing how long it takes for them to realise you're not a real one! Just think how many "Code...	steven	0	785	Jul 4, 2007 by steven
	Google (Preview) Atm, britishtennis.net is 10th on the google listings for "British tennis." To get more clicks and therefore, more members it needs to be higher. Google listings are determined mainly on the no of clicks a site gets for google. Eg: the LTA site is top because that gets the most clicks from...	Sheddie	2	811	Jun 29, 2007 by Salmon
	I am FREEE !!!!!!!!! ( 1 2 ) (Preview) !!!!! Final exam finished this morning so I'll now be around much more on here. The full posting features are now back for me, is that the case for everyone ?	Sheddie	15	1982	Jun 27, 2007 by mkkreuk
	Happy Birthday, Johnnylad. (Preview) I am late by eight minutes.	Salmon	7	886	Jun 26, 2007 by Sheddie
	Members Holidays... (Preview) Never been so busy at work so not been around much...always checking in though and reading bt.net. Well I am off on Sunday to the states for my summer hols with the family...I always seem to go away when Wimby is on ??? Our villa only has dial up net access but will be keeping in contact with all you lot. Plea...	Drew	1	796	Jun 21, 2007 by Salmon
	"Hate filled venom" ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Thought we should have a thread to discuss the biggest assault on our human rights for many a year. I'm talking about the smoking ban of course. Please read the following article and think "what if the word smoker was replaced with another minority group" http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/he...	john	16	7012	Jun 14, 2007 by Count Zero
	Another illustrious new member (Preview) We had David Felgate join the site last week.... and now Neil Harman, tennis correspondent of the Times has joined !!! He registered yesterday	Sheddie	1	699	Jun 13, 2007 by seagull
	Signature Appreciation Thread (Preview) Because I'm fed up of posting in random threads that I like people's signatures I thought I'd start this up. So let me begin with, Arka I love your new sig, what did Sheddie do to prompt such a declaration?	imoen	14	1382	Jun 13, 2007 by imoen
	30 things to do in an exam when you know you're going to fail it anyway (Preview) you never know, this may come in useful for some of us in the near future !! 1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!" 2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, y...	Sheddie	3	934	May 28, 2007 by Salmon
	Happy 18th Mr Shed (Preview) Go forth and get hammered!	john	9	805	May 28, 2007 by Salmon
	Actual answers in exam papers (Preview) Answers which students have actually written in GCSE exams.... GCSE Science: Q: How does a coil turn? A: By god's will Q: Write down a test for starch A: Go to www.google.com, lookup 'starch test', find a test, and then copy it HERE Philosophy essay final in High School: Q: Why? A: Why not? Once in a chemi...	Sheddie	5	1370	May 25, 2007 by john
	The tale of Martina and the Czech Shrek (Preview) There is a Count from Transylvania Who in girls sets off some kind of mania They fall at his feet Think him some kind of treat It's so very hard to explain t'yuh! At Wim-bee, acting up like a brat He went out to young Muzz, just like that At his press conference Andy sat on the fence But thought "That blo...	Sheddie	6	1061	May 25, 2007 by Count Zero
	Happy Birthday To Laura. (Preview) Have a great day, Laura. And hopefully you'll have a great year ahead.	Salmon	1	848	May 19, 2007 by Count Zero
	A cold reception in heaven (Preview) It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day, it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died." The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having...	Sheddie	0	722	May 12, 2007 by Sheddie
	Only in America (2) (Preview) 1. Only in America.......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America.......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America.......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healt...	Sheddie	1	818	May 11, 2007 by Madeline
	Scottish hospital ward (Preview) An English doctor is being shown around a Scottish hospital. He is shown into a ward with a number of patients who show no obvious signs of injury. He goes to examine the first patient he sees, and the man proclaims: "Fair fa' yer honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin' race!" The...	Sheddie	2	863	May 11, 2007 by Madeline
	A letter from Tesco (Preview) A LETTER FROM TESCO Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping. This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford: Dear Mrs. Murray, While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of ou...	Sheddie	0	750	May 11, 2007 by Sheddie
	The year's best headlines of 2005 (Preview) Hopefully no one has posted these before....I found them funny. THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2005: Crack Found on Governor's Daughter[Imagine that!] Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?] Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers[Now that's taking things a bit...	Montana Doug	4	799	May 6, 2007 by Madeline
	The activeboard world championships - space invaders ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I thought it'd be fun to have our own world championships for the arcade game "space invaders." I'm looking for 64 participants, please sign up in this thread stating the country you wish to represent [GB will be split up into the home nations eg: Scotland, England, Wales, NI + Isle of Man, Jersey,...	Sheddie	22	1705	May 6, 2007 by john
	Letters to the editor (Preview) These are a collection of some of the funniest letters to be published in newspaper editorial sections...some are simply classic Could the Home Secretary explain to me how biometric checks on iris Patterns and fingerprints are going to help keep tabs on Muslim cleric Abu Hamsa. Les Barnsley ------...	Sheddie	2	925	May 6, 2007 by Montana Doug
	If Arka was in charge of the LTA (Preview) I expect very interesting developments would occur..... Here are some of my conjectures, will be interesting to see what the Panda himself thinks... (1) Nadal and Lopez would get a lifetime ban from competing in Britain (2) The clay tourneys in May would be switched to grass and there woul...	Sheddie	9	858	Apr 28, 2007 by Salmon
	Disorder in the American courts (Preview) These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Q: Are you sexually active? A: No, I just lie...	Sheddie	1	705	Apr 26, 2007 by VSandhi20
	Happy Birthday To James! ( 1 2 3 ) (Preview) Enjoy your year, Count. What a present Alex gave you today. I have now taken an oath to remember all birthdays.	Salmon	32	2828	Apr 26, 2007 by Count Zero
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